Beginning life, I knew love should be waited for.
Love had to be perfect; not in the human’s view of perfect but perfect from Love himself; God 🙂
Painfully but very rewarding, I set out on a journey to love God only and know His nature of love, only then will I be able to love the man “He gave me” .
I always thought to myself, ” how could I marry one of God’s own priceless possession without His idea and knowledge of what Love really was”. I knew for sure I would mess up if I ventured out on my own. I was certain that the man God will bring to me or give me to will be one that he so cherished and seriously and jealously wanted to guard but then in trust.. He will give him to me and me to him that I may handle with care.
Growing up, I had been with my fair share of males to know that “man” could indeed pretend to the very point when he felt his pretense had paid off. Just as the bible says ” the heart of man is desperately wicked who can understand it…” I knew then that I could not be a good judge of Character except the Lord who is Love made it possible.
So being my Father, I went to God and asked him to find His perfect match for me… knowing that left to me alone I may court disaster for myself and His Kingdom.
My decision is based on the fact that I know that my Father heard me that night.
One will say I am paying for my decisions, but I will say that even though it hurts, its stressful and I cry a lot… I know that my Father’s desire is to bring me to an accepted end and this, I will trade for “nothing” in this world.
My decision… was to wait… NO MATTER WHAT. 😦