My Decision 3

hopeful_but_in_pain_by_muted_pain

My decision caused me a lot.

My decision put me in a place where I could see love but could not touch it.

My decision put me on Cloud nine; always to be brought to the reality that I am just living on earth.

From afar I watched, cherished, loved and wished I did not have to do it from afar.

“When will I be able to openly watch, admire, cherish and love without the feeling of over-stepping my boundaries” I ask myself.

Some years ago I believed “loving from afar” was fun, beautiful and actually loving. 🙂

I loved from afar once… but as I grew I learnt that this was just a theory in my head. It brought pain, hurt, tears… I thought…. I may not love like that again.

Then he came along… just what I had prayed for.. he well of course not the “cooking and domestic” part, but he was alright. You know what they say.. beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder? Well he was not exactly beautiful… but today I indeed see beauty.. he is indeed handsome..he is very handsome.. . my… oops 😦 can’t continue.. cos this is all my heart says, but can’t speak out.

I loved him… much earlier than I expected I would but I did.

My decision… thought me to decide to love a person and its the most beautiful decision and feeling all bundled into one.

My decision came with uncertainty.. but I have loved everyday and when I say everyday I mean:

– the hurts

– feeling unwanted

– rejection

– jealousy

– love

– laughter

– teamwork

– leadership

oooh the conflicts, hahahhaha., how could I forget that. 😦

But they all taught me a lot. It was the decision I made.

My decision to continue … and to wait.. no matter what.:)

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