The domestic man 4

Slowly and gradually  I come  to the realization that the loving man i need may not necessarily turn out to be the domestic man I want.

Yes need and want are two different sides of the coin.  I know it is possible to get that kind of man… Yeah.. Maybe I will go and marry some where in Asia.. But in Africa men  are not trained that way.  They are prepared even by their mothers that the  woman will do “these” things.

So  a young man grows up and begins waiting for the day he will get married so someone else can do his laundry,  cook him food and warm his bed.

They can’t be blamed. That is our culture. Men,  mine is just a plea… That you help us out.

When I think about all the domestic work a woman has to do in addition to working in a corporate office.. I get scared and want to quit  the thought of marriage.

Granted,  there are woman who can do all these… Truly.. I get scared and my questions become :
“will I make him happy”
“will in-laws be pleased with me”
“what happens when they come to visit and I am too tired to cook”
“will I be a happy person if my husband doesn’t want to help with house chores”
“how will I cope with being the woman my culture expects me to be when I am not that now”
“will I have a happy marriage if i can’t be the domestic woman”

These are the tough questions that plaque my mind.

The tot of marriage is beautiful but the tot that a woman maybe left to do all the work is painful.

It is a reality I must face no matter how hard…  Unless I don’t want to get married.  🙂  but I think I want to.

So lady gird up your loins and get to work. It will only be a miracle for you to get the domestic man.

But man,  you could choose to be that miracle… Cos your Mrs right is our there scared to get close cos she feels society demands too much from her.

I am learning hard.


9 thoughts on “The domestic man 4

  1. “So a young man grows up and begins waiting for the day he will get married so someone else can do his laundry, cook him food and warm his bed.” – Wow that’s all he thinks about when he thinks marriage? A young man is so wicked. No woman should marry

    “They can’t be blamed. That is our culture.” – Asia has the best culture in the world. Every woman should marry an Asian man

    “When I think about all the domestic work a woman has to do…” – all domestic work is not all the work domestically



    • Unfortunately Mark, I did interact with some people yesterday and that is what some really think about. Maybe they do have other reasons but this seems to stand paramount for them.

      But like I said it is how we are shaped. I believe such men begin to think of the other aspects of marriage when they are getting close…. You are bound to think of something more than that. A few will go into marriage with this thought though.

      And I don’t think that should prevent a woman from getting married Mark. ☺
      Thanks for reading


  2. We all may have expectations but what happens if they are not met.

    Nature places demands on humans thus for both sexes, more so our culture.
    Hence I believe we ought to prepare ourselves for the extreme; where our expectations may not be met and as such be ready to do it all by ourselves. By that it becomes easier to handle things if our partners do not help out.

    But it is PRUDENT to be the best you can ever be and make your marriage for that matter your partner happy for marrying you.
    Lets strive to be better in all ways.



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