It was that day, that fateful night.
Indeed, Fate-full. My heart broke.
I felt the tearing and wondered how I got here.
My fears had been confirmed.
The pain I thought I may feel in such a situation was no where near how I actually felt.
It looked like the end of the road; I had laboured for nothing.
Weeping may endure for a night but joy in the morning.
Out of this I found the strength to spend time with the one who truly loves me. Just started, don’t know how far I will go but I pray I never stop cos this is the only time I feel cherished and the guilt of my past does indeed seem far away like it never happened.
A week after
Today I remembered. It’s been 12 years… 12 years…
Why did I even start? Rejection seems to have been the response to my show of love throughout the years. The friends I loved, only took what I gave and did not know how to cherish it.
Not again!!! God is willing to fight for me and I am willing to let Him. I dont know where I am finding the strength to live or even type right now… But I know He is with me in all of it.
Is it too much to ask for?:
- A lover
- My biggest fan
- My teacher
- My best friend
- My guide
- My companion
- My husband …
Tears seem to engulf me for the night…I still choose God’s way even in this pain.