He loves me 2

I do agree He does love me,  but day by day my decisions haunt me.  It lays my heart bare before me.

😥 I don’t  love  him.  After all he did for me, I pay him back with evil. Oh wretched  man that I am.

How could  I be so  callous? The tears I bring to  his eyes everyday…  The hard hearted picture  I show him  everyday…
Why  does he still love me…. I wish to know why… Cos  I don’t deserve it.

Why  can’t  I just love Him the  same way… Am I so incapable of loving such a person?

Oh how does he see me?  I want to be with my lover.. The only one who loves me in spite  of everything… But. I can’t come close…  Too filthy… Too dirty to come close.

How can I ever hear that still small voice.. He asked me to believe that He wants to speak with me.. But  how can I when  I am so  wretched… How?

He loves me

He loves me…  How come I never knew.
He is patient with me…  How come I did not realize it.

His love is ever strong… Ever growing…  Like I can never lose it.

My heart bleeds now because I disregard this love. I don’t seem to know the full extent of His love for me.

All these years I put others above him,  I sort approval from others and all others’ opinion instead of him.

He is the only one who knows me and really deals with my flaws. A man who feels exactly what  I feel and is willing to still carry me in his arms.

His rebuke is so ever gentle that I feel more love than pain.

I hurt because I gave my heart to others. I took Him for granted and I chose to look to others.

But He calls me again… He waits… arms open again that  I may walk in.
Oh that  I will hear his heart and love Him as He loves me.

Thanks for loving me all this while.